<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>DSaF 3 two: electric boogaloo, Homophobia Strikes back by sourcaundy</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23883307">DSaF 3 two: electric boogaloo, Homophobia Strikes back</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sourcaundy/pseuds/sourcaundy'>sourcaundy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>DSAF, Dayshift At Freddy's, FNAF, Five Nights at Freddy's</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack, Crack Crossover, M/M, the people involved with this fic aren't sick they're twisted sick makes it seem like there's a cure</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 15:09:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,559</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23883307</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sourcaundy/pseuds/sourcaundy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A multi-collaborator crack-fic made by the DSaF and FNaF twitter community, a heart breaking love story where the Dave Miller goes on a journey but ending up getting caught inside the dark and mysterious past of the two franchises. Does love win, or does love lose? Read to find out...</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Davesport - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>DSaF 3 two: electric boogaloo, Homophobia Strikes back</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello hello, this was a crack-fic made by the FNaF and DSaF twitter community, so take things with a grain of salt and uh you're gay 💔</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h1>Chapter 1: Dave sits on a bench and Henry Miller to Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria and became homophobic with William.</h1><p><br/>So one day William Gayboy<b> (HES NOT GAYYY HES IN DENIAL SO HOMOPHOBIC) ANONYMOUS FOX SHUTleFUCK UP NO FUCK OFF YOURE A TWISTED </b><b>INDIVIDUAL) greetings gayboy</b> Afton aka the man behind the slaughter was sitting in his house on his</p><p>dumb little bench. It was probably in his little fucking basement because he is broke. He stole it from a park.  Little thief.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe he'll go to jail for the theft, I dunno.. But not the.. You know. Serial murders and all of that. That's secondary. And hey, maybe he’ll return it! No he won't, do you know who we're talking about? That bench is the only thing he has to his name. It embodies him. It's hisomethess and stinky and gross and sweaty and just fucking dumb embodiment. William Afton, this is a callout post. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. Bet he uses Reddit. God damn. The Reddit usage ties into his atheist persona, I think. And as such, Baldi Afton atheist rights.</p><p> </p><p>WILLIAM: god isnt real</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>HES CHRISTIAN YOU FUCK NO HE BtheIVES HES GOD HES ATJIEST HE HATES GOD AND HIS SO (BRUH Baldi AFTON sex offenderSOUND) mb</b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Henry Miller then beat his...meat? then… his kids. then he found a particularly thick piece of bread and just went to town. Wow. then Big Chungus said "Whoa Mama! IT'S MICHAEL</p><p>NOT MICHEAL. I'M KILLING MYSELF THANK YOU WOW." Then Sans dies. The end. But then Big Chungus 2 comes out and Michael comes back to watch Big Chungus 2. He has a good time but suddenly Random Chimp Event (RCE) occurs and Micheal goes to court and his defense says” .”</p><p> </p><p>(VINE BOOM SOUND EFFECT)</p><p> </p><p>Henry Miller went to his sad little home that was the god forsaken void, took a deep breath and made a reddit post. “Dear gay people, I hate all gay people! Hate em. Pog.” then he got shadow banned and went to his bed and hugged his anime body pillow like the incel that he is. <b>(I hate it here)</b></p><p> </p><p>Both William Afton and Henry Miller were homophobic little bitches, they hated gay people, especially their gay sons, <b>(wait Miller has a son? ig he has one now)</b> Michael and Dave.. even though technically (both biologically and legally) Dave wasn’t Henry's son. He kinda just robbed his ACTUAL son's name and started calling Henry his dad?? which is pretty fucked up, but Miller didn't give a shit, his life was already hectic, it don't matter. Henry Emily tried to save them from that horrible lifestyle, but sadly he failed due to William and Miller's pure homophobic energy. </p><p> </p><p>William Afton moderated r/dankmemes– no wonder he was so homophobic we KNOW reddit hates gay people– so therefore is he gay?  Well, he had a wife, so he was bi, he guessed. Bi and homophobic :). He just has internalized homophobia .. or maybe he really does hate gay people including himself, which means Henry hates himself??? He should. He doesn’t, sadly, thats fucked. I really hope Henry comes to his senses and realizes hes a piece of shit. <b>you’re so fucking right i hope u know that &lt;3</b></p><p> </p><h1> Chapter 2: Love Wins?!?!?!?!</h1><p>Dave anxiously shuffles up to Jack, having a plan on what he wanted to do today. He wanted to ask Jack on… Dun dun dun… A date!!!!!! stupid as FUCK, right?</p><p>“Hey… onion sexy Sport…” Dave said, looking down at the twinklet Jack Kennedy.</p><p>“Fuck you want, you stupid eggplant ugly ass motherfucking bitch ass stupid poopyy stinkyy bitch boy ugly?” Jack asked in response.</p><p>“Sportsy… I… want to take you out on a date.”</p><p>Jack’s face flushed, looking less like a tangerine and more like a blood orange. </p><p>“...I'd love to.” He smiled, taking Dave's hand.</p><p>Dave held Jack’s hand tenderly, while they walked to chick-fil-a because they both had internalized homophobia. they grabbed a seat. “I love you.. Dave.” Jack said passionately under his breath... “I love you too.” Dave said, while he blushed. Then, at the corner of Jack’s eye. What did he see? Henry fucking Miller. I mean, it wasn’t a surprise since Henry was a homophobic republican. He knew going to chick-fil-a was a bad idea. Henry then stared Jack in the eyes and his face fucking screwed up in rage. <em>“You.”</em> Henry said angrily and then BEAT Jack TO DEATH FOR ALL TO SEE. HE DIDN’T EVEN HESITATE. HE JUST JUMPED RIGHT IN. Legacy!Jack was fine with this.  He always came back, and Jack jumped in, saying “ayo Henry nice work i homophobic too”</p><p> </p><p>“UR HOMOPHOBIC!??” Dave cried </p><p>“yes…. sorry……. I hate gays… “ Jack said and stood back up revived because he's immortal.</p><p>“But, Jack… You are a homosexual person too!”, Dave said, overcome by sadness at the things the orange man said.</p><p>“I lied… I'm sorry gay person… I just wanted clout…. “</p><p>“How could you do that to me?!”, Dave sobbed, “You are worse than Henry! Jack, you are a liar! Your little bitch ass deserved to die, I don’t care.”</p><p> </p><p>Jack gasped aloud, walking over to Dave and slapping him in the face, “DONT YOU FUCKING SAY THAT! I'M NOTHING LIKE HENRY. HENRY UGLY . I'M SEXY AS HELL AND MY MEAT IS HUGE.”</p><p>“YOU WERE SEXY…… BEFORE ADMITING YOU WERE A HOMOPHOBE! JACK, IM GAY! AND I LOVE YOU!”, Dave screamed in rage, tears fell from his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Wait what the fuck… what the fuck, Dave, you’re gay??” Henry said, wiping his hands on his shirt coz they were covered in Jack’s ugly orange blood, “Like for real??? Like, you like guys??? Why??? What the fuck????”</p><p>“I AM…….. I LOVE MEN……… IM GAY, HENRY.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, pack your shit, stupid ass aubergine boy.” Henry crossed his arms, “Never talk to me again, you’re stupid, I can't trust you, you like…. you have aids...or something.” The homophobic pink man said, rolling his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“JACK, YOU CANNOT DO THIS TO ME.” He cried. ”YOU ARE A GAY PERSON TOO!!!! </p><p> </p><p>Jack gasped. “I’M NOT A GAY PERSON!!”</p><p> </p><p>“YOU'RE A LITTLE GAY HOMOSEXUAL, JACK. YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT IT!!!!!” He screamed. “PLEASE… FOR THE SAKE  OF FREDBEARS…..”</p><p> </p><p>“NO!! FUCK YOU!! I HATE GAY PEOPLE!!! I HATE MEN!!!!! I’D NEVER LOVE A MAN!!!!!!! stan loona”</p><p> </p><p>And then william was like “oi pop cherrio” because he’s dumb and british</p><p> </p><p>Just as Jack said that the door of the Chick-Fil-A swung open and in walked… WILLIAM AFTON!??!?!? FROM FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDYS?!?!? Also THE Michael is also here.</p><p> </p><p>“WHO ARE YOU????” Dave questioned the other purple person. “YA LOOK FUCKING GAY.”</p><p> </p><p>“William.” Jack said, ignoring Dave because gay people don't deserve respect, “You’re meaning to tell me that what we had… All our time spent together meant nothing to you?? Youre hetero???”</p><p> </p><p>“No homo William………… I always said it before anything that we did…. You stupid bitch”, Jack said.</p><p> </p><p>“YOU FUCKING REVOKED IT LAST NIGHT, JACK. YOU FUCKED ME, THAT IS  HOMO IT DIDN'T MATTER YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME :(“ Dave cried, tears now streaming down his cheeks . Everyone in the Chicken-Fill-Gay was now staring at the gay love scene before them. “I have never said that, your gayness blinded you", he answered, looking into William's white eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“So- So- So-” Dave stuttered, wiping his eyes with his sleeve, “What happened in Ohio… never mattered to you??"</p><p>“who tf even goes to ohio only gay ppl go there”</p><p>“WE WERE THERE, JACK.” Dave sobbed, “WE WERE THERE. AND WHILE WE WERE LOOKING UP AT THE STARS THAT FATEFUL CHEWSDAY NIGHT, HOLDING HANDS, YOU TOLD ME 'JACK, YES HOMO’. I REMEMBER IT . CLEAR AS DAY .”</p><p> </p><p>“WE WERE NOT? MAYBE YOU'RE CONFUSING ME FOR MY TWIN BROTHER, SANS”</p><p> </p><p>“S- SANS???” Jack finally piped up, looking angry.. but also upset “YOU WERE WITH SANS??? YOU FUCKER???”</p><p> </p><p>“DARLING DON'T GET MAD AT Baldi..”, Sans said,” I CAN UNDERSTAND HIM……..”</p><p> </p><p>“NONONO, DAVE, SHUT YOUR GAY MOUTH UP . YOU WERE WITH S A N S ?? LIKE..<em> THE </em> SANS? SANS THE SKELETON??? SANS UNDERTALE???? MY FIANCE???”</p><p> </p><p>“sans do be kinda hot tho 😳”, Baldi- WILLIAM, STOP USING HIS DEADNAME said.</p><p> </p><p>“I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERENT GAY??” Dave screamed.</p><p> </p><p>“IM NOT GAY,” Jack screamed back, defensive, “SANS IS A SKELETON HE DOESNT-- HE DOESNT HAVE A GENDER HES BONES.”</p><p> </p><p>“i'm a guy, jack”, Sans said, staring into the orange man’s eyes.</p><p> </p><p>Jack gasped, “WELL- WELL- IF YOURE GAY THEN WHY ARE YOU HERE??? AT BOOTLEG MCDONALDS HUH???”</p><p> </p><p>“i came to find you, jack... i need to tell you something…” “WHAT!?” Jack yelled, pointing a finger at sans, “WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY TE--” “i'm pregnant.”</p><p> </p><p>“W- What..”, Jack's eyes widened, looking at Sans. “...Sans?” Jack stared into the distance, silent, then shook his head, “No.. no, Sans, you said you were on birth control.. I.. did you lie to me???” “yep.” Sans answered “i'm sorry jack.”</p><p> </p><p>“I.. “ Jack sighed, shuffling his feet and then pulling something from out of his pocket. He shoved it into Sans’ boney hand. “Here.” Sans opened his fist, “is this ..” “Money. For the abortion,” Jack sighed. “I can't have this baby, Sans . I'm too young. I'm 32.5 years old, I can't raise a child." “jack. i.." sans said, in shock</p><p> </p><p>“Save your words for the doctor, Sansy. This is my final decision. “ Jack said, before turning on his heel and walking out the restaurant doors. Sans shuffled quietly out of the room.</p><p> </p><p>Man Jack took the fucking kids.</p><p> </p><h1>Chapter 3: patapatpavptaptaptaptaptpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpaptaptapta WAAAA JUMPSCARE (VINE BOOM SOUND EFFECT) (BRUH SOUND EFFECT)</h1><p>Jack was aware that he, Dave, and Henry would always come back, and that fighting was ultimately fruitless.  Still, as he was being punched in the back of the Chick-Fil-A, he couldnt help but wonder if the last thing he ever ate would be homophobic chicken. It would be a weird way to go by anyone else’s standards, but he didn’t mind. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a familiar friend. “Well if it isn’t Mr Hippo!” The purple animatronic waved and came over. “Jack, old friend! How long has it been?” A lustful red came over Jack’s eyes. “Too long.” He took a knife out of his pocket and stabbed Mr Hippo in the back. “Bwa-.... Hig-“ The purple bitch fell with the force of a sledgehammer. Jack didn’t say a word. He strutted out of themall, fueled by the hippos blood.</p><p> </p><p>Jack didn’t know what came over him. He just felt like it. He knew that the gay potion had side effects, but this… wow.</p><p> </p><h1>Chapter 69: A ffuck kgi  g n love tringangle?!?!?!</h1><p>Some time after William afton and Henry killed every all gay people, a new challenger appeared; the gayest man alive. Jack fucking Kennedy emerges from the dust and says "You fools. I'm actually the creator of gay people.” SHOCK!!!! Their final battle is against the gayest man on earth but SHOCK 2!!!!!! William Afton falls in love with Jack Kennedy and now Henry must fight against them both?!??!?!?! Too bad Henry's a fucking idiot so he dies but then William Afton is like “NOOOOOO MY LOVVVE” and smooches Henry and so does Jack so he’s revived and they all smooch together because it turns out the real gay people were the friends you made along the way &lt;333333 :)</p><p> </p><h1>Chapter: fuck you - jack</h1><p>
  <span>connyection tewminated. im sowwy 2 intewwupt u, ewizabeth, if u stiww even wemembew dat nyame, but im afwaid uve been misinfowmed. u awe nyawt hewe 2 weceive a gift, nyow have u been cawwed hewe by da individuaw u assume, awthough, u have indeed been cawwed. u have aww been cawwed hewe, in2 a wabywinth of soundz n smewwz, misdiwection n misfowtune. a wabywinth with nyo exit, a maze with nyo pwize. u dont even weawize dat u awe twapped. uw wust 4 bwood has dwiven u in endwess ciwcwez, chasing da cwiez of chiwdwen in some unseen chambew, awwayz seeming so nyeaw, yet somehow out of weach. but u wiww nyevew find dem. nyone of u wiww. dis is whewe uw stowy endz. n 2 u, my bwave vowunteew, who somehow found dis job wisting nyawt intended 4 u, awthough dewe wuz a way out pwanned 4 u, i have a feewing datz nyawt wut u want. i have a feewing dat u awe wight whewe u want 2 b. i am wemaining as weww. i am nyeawby. dis pwace wiww nyawt b wemembewed, n da memowy of evewything dat stawted dis can finawwy begin 2 fade away, as da agony of evewy twagedy shouwd. n 2 u monstewz twapped in da cowwidowz, b stiww, n give up uw spiwitz. dey dont bewong 2 u. 4 most of u, i bewieve dewe is peace, n pewhapz wawmth, waiting 4 u aftew da smoke cweawz. awthough, 4 one of u.. da dawkest pit of heww has opened 2 swawwow u whowe. so dont keep da deviw waiting, owd fwiend. my daughtew, if u can heaw me, i knyew u wouwd wetuwn as weww. itz in uw nyatuwe 2 pwotect da innyocent. im sowwy dat on dat day, da day u wewe shut out n weft 2 die, nyo1 wuz dewe 2 wift u up in2 theiw awmz, da way u wifted othewz in2 uwz. n den, wut became of u. i shouwdve knyown u wouwdnt b content 2 disappeaw. nyawt my daughtew. i couwdnt save u den, so wet me save u nyow. itz time 2 west - 4 u, n 4 those u have cawwied in uw awmz. dis endz. 4 aww of us. end communication.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>fathew. itz me, michaew. i did it. i found it. it wuz wight whewe u said it wouwd b. dey wewe aww dewe. dey didnt wecognise me at fiwst but den.. dey thought i wuz u. n i found hew. i put hew back togethew. just wike u asked me 2. shez fwee nyow. but something is wwong with me. i should b ded. but im nyot. ive been wiving in shadowz. thewez onwy one thing weft 4 me 2 do nyow. im going 2 come find u. </span>
  <b>im going 2 come find u.</b>
</p><p> </p><h1>Chapter 6: Love wins 2, electric boogaloo</h1><p> </p><p>
  <span>William pulled down his pants. He wanted Jack thats also gayr Out came a miniature foxylepirate plush.</span>
  <span> “Yo wtf” said Henru Miller. WILLLIAM touched Henry's hand firmly, Henry Miller blushed. Though, you probably couldn’t tell because he was a pink ass motherfucker. “I Mean… after we killed all gay people… what’s left?” Henry gazed at William in his eyes and said “... you”.. They both kissed. Legacy! Jack was like “hey guys… i think i love you guys too…” WOAHHH A POLY RELATIONSHIP!?!?!? The three all went to vegas !! turns out the homophobes were actually the real gay people in the situation!! I guess love does truly win. :)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The true homophobe all along was MATT the ULTIMATE VIRGIN. he HATES gay people bc he cant fuck anyone or else he’ll DIE. Jack dave and henry all use the power of gay to just stab him to death and matt kind of like just pops like a balloon i think? But like that only makes him more powerful and</span>
</p><p>
  <strong>THE END, </strong>
  <em>or so, as we thought</em>
</p><h1>New Chapter: DX FINAL MIX 2.9</h1><p>
  <span>William afton watch his son play kingdom hearts</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looks at sora and kairi and is sad because he is from the future and already played kingdom hearts 3 and is sad that kairi dies :( so sad</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He cries and his son say “fathor… why do you want to stay i just dont get it is this where you wanna be” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>William said “dont worry son….keep playing...youre almost at maleficent boss fight :(“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The son is playing critical mode and its really hardddd</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then he beats maleficent dragon and does an epic fortnite dance </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Baldi cries in joy and does the floss</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then they watch arthur the aardvark on pbs</span>
</p><h1>
  <span>Weird onion guy insane </span>
</h1><p>
  <span>My lie worked</span>
</p><p>
  <span>William genuinely believes undeath is a gift</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course, when you phrase is as onion sex it sounds appealing, even tantalizing</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even if our specimen lucid, and seemingly tremendous in agony </span>
</p><p>
  <span>No</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This is a fate i’d rather avoid</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Life is use thess, even detrimental, when suffering is abundant</span>
</p><p>
  <span>the ancientOnion sexs referred tonion sexeprocess of eternally living through immense suffering as “hell”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Years ago, i would have scorned atleconcept of hell Onion sex even existing</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bot, now that i have provenleexistence ofonion sex., \</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Where do lost souls go?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What lies beyondlethreshonion sex of death</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I dont know </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But i aim to prove that death simply doesn’t exist</span>
</p><p>
  <span>the uOnion sexniverse is critically misunderstood </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seldom is anything created, nor destroyed </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Matter changes forms constantly, but ever ceases to exist, nor come into existence on it’s own</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I aim to prove this with my experiments</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Death is a fabrication </span>
</p><p>
  <span>An archaic view of mortality based on primitive human assumptions</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Matter cannot be destroyed or created anew </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Any lost souls still remain within reality, within some other place Onion sexOnion sex</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With obedient and sentient phantom beings</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The barrier can be crossed, and then shattered </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The “immortality” that these souls have is worthless </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What good is livng forever w the air feels like it’s on fire and every nerve pules through jagged metaland crudely stitched together leather</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To understand such things, one must become </span>
  <em>
    <span>mechanical</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Organic matter cannot be shut down and restarted so easily</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But a machine- in theory, should it harbor a soul- could act as a portal between our realm and beyond</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once i find out where lost souls go, i can find out where we come from in turn</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We can work backwards </span>
</p><p>
  <span>We weren't created either, we merely changed does </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Joyously, i have unraveled the myth of our creation, and this is my </span>
  <b>LEGACY</b>
</p><p>
  <span>I will remove all shackles of mortality from human kind</span>
</p><p><span>I am Dr. </span><span>[/Q!c6%*’X(&amp;^</span> <span>and i will abolish death</span></p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I will teach the world about </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>The Joy of Creation </em>
  </b>
  <span>itself</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>
    <b>michael be like hey gay people</b>
  </span>
</p><p> </p><h1>Chapter 10: michael becomes a professional yo-yo-er (yoer? I do not know what it is called)</h1><p>
  <span>“hey guys, it’s me, michael afton! Decided 2 become a professional yo-yo user and learn the art of this wonderful yo-yo.” (he then does the epic walk the dog yo-yo trick) “wasn’t that grand! I am so glad I decided 2 take this on as my profession.” (everyone claps)   (i cut the yo yo string off) (the crowd gasps and Michael collapses) “what am I supposed 2 do neow… I can no longer walk the dog, I can no longer do a triple spin” IM SO SORRY MAIKOL</span>
</p><p>
  <span>THIS IS HEARTBREAKING</span>
</p><p> </p><h1>Chapter 69, 2.0 : le Angry Video Game nerd</h1><p>
  <span>Ok guys I will be playing fnaf ultimate custom night</span>
</p><p>
  <span>WAIT HOW DID BONNIE KILL ME?! THIS GAME IS ASSSSSSSS!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Neko!au fnaf and dsaf au where willinyan cat ears nya rawr xd afton</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Neko Baldi is being kept in a cage at a pet store because he is a cat. He is fucking diseased. No one wants to buy him. But then one day……. Rabies. He</span>
</p><p>
  <span>just fucking starts frothing at the mouth, banging his stupid little purple paws on his cage and meowing. No one listens. He dies and goes to gay people hell. It’s where he belongs. He goes to hazmat hotel and meets gay (?) spider mafia man funny sex joke here xdddddd </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>They quickly fall in love. Is this what living actually felt like? Well no, he was in hell. But still. He and angelf dust were in love and nothing could bring them apart. Theyd hold hands even (absurd, i  know). Truly, the height of romance these days. Brings a tear to my eye whenever i think about them.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Who am i? Oh. i am Baldi Baldis Baldiss, i am willia,m pogfton and angel dust’s child. I am pretty normall but i have a secret. Im homophobic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Being homophobic aint easy when your dads are gay, you know? But i do my best and i think thats all that really matters. Whenever they kiss i point and laugh</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Neko! Jack was like “uuwuw whats this?? Owo Davey!!!!!!!!! Sansyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bulgy wULGY!!!11!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You know what, henry miller had the right idea</span>
</p><p> </p><h1>Chapter 21: THE POGCHAMP CHRONICLES (ft, Lol sans)</h1><p>
  <span>og  moment Once upon a time Sansy Jones and Hewnry  gave birth to maikol the end but wer whale watching and they looked at at the wave and Sans was like, poggers!!!!1111111 poop!11!11! Monkey!11 omg undertale farts!!!</span>
  <span> also william was there</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey. You suck, big honkers, bro.” So naturally Davey Jones got mega pissed and brought out his purple pirate sword and started swinging. </span>
  <span>Hewnry wa slike, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Erectile dysfunction is not a joke, Jim.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lol, sans.”  scroll up &gt;:)Okay so that really set Davey off. He was like, help i have a fish stuck in my asshole i think im gonna have twins hnwopww “Th4t’s 1t. No more ncie aubergine.” He shoots him off the side of the cruise ship they were on. There was a lot of childbirth before it happened though like Davey WOAH DAVE JUST SHOT A PREGNANGDT MAN OFF BOAT??? Those are aggressive crimes and must be dealt with so in the end Sans punted dave off of the ship into the mouth of a big old whale.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>*Lol eats you* Said the wHale. And then inside the whale Dave wa sliek “wow it’s dark in the vore chamber” He lights a match that he was keeping inside of his fish hole and OMG?!?! ITS?!?! FOXY FNAF?? “arG?!” Foxy goes?!?! Dave Miller is… upset. Wtf…. gay little fax. He says?? He’s like, ew im homophobic. But foxy is very hairy and hot. Dave rethinks his former statement. “Maybe just one yiff the fax.” but before.. That happens!?? --&gt;</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Legacy!jack jumped in and said “ i guess we’re in endgame now” and exploded into nothing</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dave cries. He had 1 (one) gay thought in the whale and this is what happens. Cant have shit in the whale. Angrily, Dave Miller descended upon Foxy like a plague and ripped him into pieces. Coincidentally, the whale looked a lot like this ugly ass pizza joint he worked at so he walked around on the whale’s ribs and played the xylophone on them as he walked. He missed Jack. This balad was for him. He went, “dod-oddoledee-doo” Eventually he found like the rest of the animatronics and he was just so pissy-wissed about them all not being Legacy!jack that he ripped them all up. Which sucked because inside them were this nasty little kid thigns that chased him into the whale’s lower intestine. There was this whackass easter bunny cosplay and Dave was feeling the fur. He got in. But wtf?!?!?1 There was a drip?! [AUBERGINE MAN DIES.]</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The kiddin’s flee. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>[END OF ACT ONE.]</span>
</p><p> </p><h1>Chapter ??????</h1><p>
  <span>shut the fuck up</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alright sportsy thansk for the info~</span>
</p><p>
  <span>xox</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>BIG AVGINA! JACKoxox</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Girls who say hiiiii</span>
</p><p><span>Girls who say </span><span>"hewwo, hewwo? </span><span>uh, i wanted 2 record a message 4 u 2 help u get settled in on ur first nyite. um, i actually worked in dat office b4 u. im finishing up my last week nyow, as a matter of fact. so, i knyo it can b a bit overwhelming, but im here 2 tell u therez nyothing 2 worry about. uh, ull do fine. so, letz just focus o</span><span>n getting u thru ur first week. ok? </span><span>uh, letz see, first therez an introductory greeting from da company dat im supposed 2 read. </span><span>uh, itz kind of a legal thing, u knyo. um, "welcome 2 freddy fazbearz pizza. a magical place 4 kidz n grown-upz alike, where fantasy n fun come 2 life. fazbear entertainment is nyawt responsible 4 damage 2 property or person. upon discovering dat damage or death has occurred, a missing person report will b filed within 90 dayz, or as soon property n premises have been thoroughly cleaned n bleached, n da carpetz have been replaced." </span><span>Blah blah blah, nyow dat mite sound bad, i knyo</span><span>, but therez really nyothing 2 worry about. uh, da animatronic characterz here do get a bit quirky @ nyite, but do i blame em? nyo. if i were forced 2 sing those same stupid songz 4 20 yrz n i nyever got a bath? id probably b a bit irritable @ nyite 2. so remember, these characterz hold a special place in da heartz of children n we need 2 show em a little respect, rite? ok. </span><span>so, just b aware, </span><span>da characterz do tend 2 wander a bit. uh, theyre left in some kind of free roaming mode @ nyite. uh… something about their servoz locking up if they get turned off 4 2 long. uh, they used 2 b allowed 2 walk around during da day 2. but then there wuz da bite of</span> <span>'87. ya. i-itz amazing dat da human body can live without da frontal lobe, u knyo? </span><span>uh, nyow concerning ur safety, da only real risk 2 u as a nyite watchman here, if any, is da fact dat these characterz, uh, if </span><span>they happen 2 see u after hourz probably wont recognize u as a person. theyll p- most likely see u as a metal endoskeleton without itz costume on. nyow since datz against da rulez here at freddy fazbearz pizza, theyll probably try 2… forcefully stuff u inside a freddy fazbear suit. um, nyow, dat wouldnt b so bad if da suitz themselvez werent filled with crossbeamz, wirez, n animatronic devicez, especially around da facial area. </span><span>so, u could imagi</span><span>ne how having ur head forcefully pressed inside one of those could cause a bit of discomfort… n death. uh, da only partz of u dat would likely see da lite of day again would b ur eyeballz n teeth wen they pop out da front of da mask, heh. y-ya, they dont tell u these thingz wen u sign up. but hey, first day should b a breeze. ill chat with u tomorrow. uh, check those cameraz, n remember 2 close da doorz only if absolutely necessary. gotta conserve power. alrite, good nite."</span></p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Hello animal crossingers ]</span>
</p><p>
  <span>gay people</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You are gay </span>
</p><p>
  <span>im homophobic</span>
</p><p>
  <span>HHomo</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You think henry miller had any sus? Would anybody willingly pog with him? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>phobic means u are gay yea</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Straight mens u are gay</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kim jung un got springlocked</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>I bet william afton goes on 4chan</span>
</p><p>
  <span>William afton fucked his car, probably</span>
</p><p>
  <span>William afton fought the ghost kids in gulag and won and got back as springtrap</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sus</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Can you sus</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dood</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Doood</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I can eat pork</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Odododood</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Odooo</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I cant eat</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Monkey</span>
</p><p>
  <span>U</span>
</p><p>
  <span>CCan u sus</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Guys i'm making myself some bagel bites rn</span>
</p><p>
  <span>GIVE ME SOMe NEEOOOOWWW</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ill think about it</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>R*bornica Vincent: whats up bitches</span>
</p><p>
  <span>SICK</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Omg hi king Vincent be liek “rawr uwu soft boy” *kills ten kids* i think thats beayyutiful &lt;3 <span class="u">click here for free sex</span></span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go back in the kitchen and go make me some toast!!!” vincent said to y/n in and angry tone </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>y/n: yes master *you were enslaved by the purple toats lover*</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>ARE YOUGUYS FUCKING KIDDINGim kidding your MAOM haha gahteee</span>
</p><p> </p><h1>FIN.</h1>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>